


A Cover for the Heart

by windfallswest



Series: Olin/Lands [10]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends: Last of The Jedi Series - Jude Watson
Genre: Developing Relationship, First Time, M/M, Schmoop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-21
Updated: 2019-06-21
Packaged: 2020-05-14 12:49:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19273690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/windfallswest/pseuds/windfallswest
Summary: It's too late to turn back now, though.That was what Ferus had learned this past week. He'd been avoiding facing the full implications of his feelings for Roan before. Now he knew.He just didn't know what to do next.





	A Cover for the Heart

**Author's Note:**

> I apologise if I've mistakenly given anyone the impression I'm a gen writer. I'm a smut writer who occasionally has enough elbow-grease for slow-burn.

When Ferus woke up, he was in Roan's bed. Roan was lying close behind him with an arm draped over his waist. The hem of Ferus' borrowed sleep tunic had ridden up during the night, and Roan's fingertips grazed the exposed skin of his stomach.

Ferus blinked his eyes open slowly. Morning light was filtering in through Roan's bedroom window, but he couldn't see a chrono from this position, and he found himself reluctant to move. 

They had stayed up far into the night, talking. Ferus still felt he had a lot to apologise for. It had been late when they finally grew too tired to ignore, and neither of them had really wanted to part company. 

A feeling of terrified exhilaration awakened somewhere in Ferus' chest. Love, it would appear, was not an easy emotion. But it also partook of the solid comfort of Roan's body against his and the intimacy of Roan's warm breath on the back of his neck. Ferus threaded his finger's through Roan's and let his eyes drift shut again. 

"Nnnmm?" Roan hummed in response. He hugged Ferus in closer. 

"Morning," Ferus said softly. 

"Rrrz." Roan shoved his face down between Ferus' neck and the pillow. 

Ferus smiled. He still felt a little fragile after the emotional crisis of the past few days; but Roan, at least, was not daunted by the dark secrets of Ferus' past. Roan certainly had more experience than he did, and Ferus had to accept he was capable of making that decision for himself. It was Ferus' responsibility to show him that his trust was not misplaced. 

_I don't think I'll mind very much._

As pleasant as it was to lie here with Roan, Ferus was awake now, and his body's needs were making themselves known. Giving in to the inevitable, Ferus squirmed around until he was in a position to give Roan a good-morning kiss and a proper embrace before heading to the refresher. 

Roan was as reluctant to let him go as he was to open his eyes, all sleepy, seductive kisses that made Ferus all too conscious that they were lying in a bed. He finally managed to drag himself away, but he found himself in a pensive mood as he went through his morning routine. 

On consideration, Ferus belted on a robe and put his yesterday's clothes in the sonic wash. When he stuck his head into the bedroom, Roan still had his face buried in his pillows. Sloth had no business being endearing, but Ferus found himself irrationally envious of the pillows. 

"I'll get breakfast started," Ferus told him. And a pot of tea; maybe caffeine would help get him moving. 

Ferus had just set the tea to steeping; Roan preferred a strong, spiced chai, but he'd started keeping a stock of a gentler, less oxidised variety on hand for Ferus. He turned back to the heating element, where the stuffed flatcakes he'd found in the conservator were frying. From the packaging, they'd come from Roan's parents. 

_Maybe the biscuits weren't the first food Roan burned._ Deciding they were ready, Ferus was starting to turn them over when the apartment door opened unexpectedly. 

"Ugh, that smells _wonderful._ Roan, you have told your parents I love them, right?"

Ferus looked up to see Rua Ghatak, Roan's Togruta roommate, in the entryway. She wore a flashy brown and blue jumpsuit that didn't quite manage to clash with her blue-green skin tone and the mustard-spice markings on her montrals. Evidently, she had just come in from some long junket; the company she and Cauvery worked for handled both personnel and cargo transport throughout the system. 

Rua tilted her head, making the string of decorative chains she wore across her forehead swing. "Hi there, Ferus. Roan not up yet?" Her grey lips quirked in a knowing smile.

Ferus was abruptly conscious of standing barefoot in her kitchen, wearing nothing but a robe and holding a spatula. "Uh, good morning, Rua. Would you like some tea? Breakfast is almost ready," he gabbled inanely.

"No caffeine, thanks. I've got the next three days off, and I'm planning to spend the first ten hours unconscious." Rua interrupted herself with a jaw-cracking yawn. "Space, I'm tired. I'm going to go clean myself up, but save me some, would you?"

Ferus nodded, relief flooding through him as she hefted her kitbag and slumped off down the short hallway. A faint scent of burning reached his nose, and he hurried to rescue the cooking flatcakes. 

 

The flower shop was closed today, so neither Ferus nor Roan had work. After last weekend's party, no one had any big family plans, either, leaving the two of them at loose ends. It was another blazing, humid day; and if Ussa had an abundance of one thing, it was beaches. 

It never occurred to Ferus that swimming might be a problem; he swam like a Gungan, although he had to remember he couldn't hold his breath as long as he was used to anymore. And it wasn't as though he was going to need to save Roan from drowning. 

The first indication of trouble came when they got on a convenient water bus and Roan crowded in close behind him in the press. With a beach towel slung sarong-fashion around his hips over his swimming trunks, his bare chest was suddenly in contact with Ferus' back. Roan steadied himself with a hand on Ferus' hip.

"Space, that feels good," Roan said, breath puffing against his neck and ear. 

It took Ferus a moment to realise he meant the breeze as the craft surged into motion again. The standing air was as hot and humid as Roan's exhalations, but there was no question which was making the hairs on the back of his neck prickle. The fragmentary spray that made it back to Ferus didn't do much to cool the flush on his face. 

Unsurprisingly, they weren't the only ones with the same idea. The beach was a chaos of colour and noise, surrounded by merchants and buskers and packed with family picnics.

Abandoning their towels on a clear patch of artificial sand, they headed straight for the water. Ferus started to wade in down the gradual slope from the shore, but Roan caught his hand and dragged him towards a pier protruding out into the lake, from which others were jumping into the deeper water. Ferus grinned at him. 

"Race you!" 

Without waiting for an answer, Ferus crashed off at a sprint. Roan's exclamations were half-protest and half-laughter as he lurched belatedly into pursuit. They splashed noisily through the surf, dodging around children playing and jumping over miniature fortifications crudely sculpted from wet sand. 

Ferus was ahead until he had to swing wide around a group making a more cautious approach to the lake, while Roan cut through deeper water on the inside curve. They reached the foot of the pier almost neck and neck. 

Seeing them approach, the people on the pier hooted encouragement. Some of them jumped off into the water to clear the way, surfacing to watch the race continue out to the end of the pier. Ferus glanced over and saw an exhilarated grin lighting up Roan's face. He felt a surge of emotion on top of his pounding heartbeat. 

On more stable footing now, Ferus extended his stride and cut in front of him. He was already looking ahead to check the water was clear. Measuring his last few strides, he swung his arms forward and launched himself off the pier in a shallow dive. 

Bellassa's white sun was huge in the morning sky, shooting light and heat through the thick air. Ferus split the water cleanly, pressing his lips together against a grin of simple joy at his body working the way it had been trained to. 

As he surfaced, he turned to look around, just in time to see Roan streaking towards him through mid-air. His trajectory was a safe twenty degrees to Ferus' left, and he was hugging his knees to his chest so that instead of a momentum-conserving dive he hit with the force of an eighty-kilo boulder. His impact splashed an impressive wave over Ferus and everyone else in the vicinity. 

The water was remarkably clear, a point of civic pride. Ussa could afford the cleansing and conservation maintenance necessary to preserve its iconic lakes. While a few hosted submerged housing for water-dwelling species, they were still natural formations, full of aquatic plant and animal life. 

Most of it had enough sense to avoid the busy public beaches, though. Ferus found himself engaged in a messy, unproductive splash-fight with Roan. As in zero gravity, closing to grapple was much more effective. 

Laughing and panting, they twisted and thrashed. Roan's body was slippery in the water, and Ferus couldn't ignore the way their bare skin slid together, sending little electric jolts of excitement up his nerves. 

Roan was strong but untrained, so it wasn't difficult to slip his hold and wrap his legs around his waist. Pulling his head around to the right angle, Ferus seized his mouth in a hungry kiss. 

Roan responded with enthusiasm. Ferus shivered, even though the lake was nearly as warm as the air. In the water, wearing only their trunks, they almost might as well have been naked. 

They only stopped when their heads slipped underwater. Breaking apart, they flailed back to the surface, sputtering. Roan wiped the water from his face, and their eyes met. 

That was all the warning Ferus got before Roan launched himself at him again, dragging them both underwater and starting the whole cycle over. 

After a few hours, they waded back to shore, tired and hungry. Ferus was craving protein, and Roan headed straight for a vendor selling some sort of blue milk concoctions with sticks frozen into them. 

An experimental bite revealed it to be dense but creamy rather than hard, with an intensely sweet floral favour. Roan laughed at the face Ferus made and reclaimed the treat, licking it with evident pleasure. 

They went back to their towels and sprawled out under the roasting noonday sun. Roan was all long, muscular limbs and unselfconscious ease. Ferus kept catching himself staring. 

They finished eating and afterwards found themselves conscripted into a game of raider tag. Roan proved to be very agile, and a little unscrupulous. Laughing, he thrust Ferus in front of the other team's pursuer, saving himself. Ferus watched him from the sidelines until he was tagged back in. 

At the end of the day, they returned to Roan's apartment, tired but content. Ferus felt the well-earned fatigue of exertion in water under a hot sun. Roan had laced their fingers together as they walked, the closeness between them repaired. 

Once more, Ferus didn't want to leave. They had stalled out in the entryway of Roan's apartment, sharing a goodnight kiss that threatened to stretch out until morning, when they were interrupted by Roan's roommate.

"Don't mind me, boys." 

Ferus lurched back, feeling all the blood rushing to his face. "I was just leaving."

Rua put her head on one side. "And so was I. You don't have to send him away on my account," she told Roan. "I'll be out until late." 

She did look dressed for a party, Ferus noticed belatedly, in a lot of ornate jewellery and an asymmetrical wrap dress whose loose end trailed over one shoulder. Ferus' clothes were in a bag; his and Roan's fingers were still tangled on the handles. He'd borrowed one of Roan's old shirts for the trip home, since there was no point in getting sand and sweat all over fresh garments. 

Roan's chest was still bare, and he didn't seem at all embarrassed at being caught like this. Rua's teasing provoked nothing more than an eye-roll. 

"Have fun," Roan said. 

Once she was gone, Ferus rubbed at his hot cheeks. Chuckling, Roan caught one of his hands and kissed the fingers. 

"I don't know what you're laughing at," Ferus said sourly. 

Roan slid an arm back around his waist and snuck in close again. "Don't let her get to you. It's not like she actually minds. And anyway, it's no one else's business."

Sighing, Ferus let his head fall to Roan's shoulder. "I'm sorry."

"I'm only accepting apologies for the way you dunked me back in the lake." 

Ferus grinned into his shirt. "I love you."

"Me too." Roan hugged him tighter. "Will I see you tomorrow?"

"I'm only working until Cerri comes in, but after that I'm scheduled at the community centre—"

"Right." Roan sighed. 

"We have to set up something for the morning; I won't be finished until late."

"Come over anyway," Roan wheedled. "Rua said at breakfast she and Cauvery are going to be off doing something or other."

"Well..." Ferus lifted his head and studied the soulful expression on Roan's face. "All right, but I won't be able to stay very long. You have to get up for work in the morning, too.

The dismissive hum Roan made in reply promised nothing. He kissed Ferus again. 

 

Ferus glanced at his chrono as he walked up to Roan's apartment building and winced. As predicted, they had run over into the evening, and now even the late sun of local summer had gone down. The streets were almost quiet. 

Feeling a little guilty, Ferus keyed Roan's apartment number on the pad by the door and waited for a response. _He did tell you to come by_ , Ferus reminded himself, suppressing the urge to fidget as he waited. Several seconds later, there was a bump of electronic static, accompanied by the channel light and Roan's voice. 

"Hi! Ferus?" 

The intercom unit was a basic model and didn't entirely filter out what sounded like voices and music in the background. Had some of his friends come over after all? That made Ferus feel a little better about keeping him waiting. _Or maybe it's just the holovid._

"Hi. Do you still want me to come up?" 

"Yeah, come on in." 

Roan was waiting by the open door when Ferus got there, which was a little out of the ordinary, and there was something different about his posture. His entire face lit up when he saw Ferus, distracting him. 

Ferus let himself be pulled into a kiss, a sweet but faintly alcoholic taste on his lips. "I messed up," Roan confessed, collapsing back against the doorframe. "They're still here. And they got me drunk."

"Who's they?" 

"Ferus!" Rua's voice exclaimed from somewhere inside. 

"Don't leave him standing out there; where are your manners?" another voice that sounded suspiciously like Roan's cousin Cauvery added.

Roan gave him a serious look. "Escape while you still can."

It really _was_ getting late, but... "I'm not sure I should leave you alone in there."

Roan laughed his full-throated laugh, then kissed him again before leading the way inside. Ferus kept a cautious eye on him. Roan sometimes drank a bit at family gatherings, but Ferus had never seen him consume enough to produce quite this loose-limbed swagger before. It was worrisome, but also a little mesmerising. 

He had always liked Roan's apartment. The common room was arranged around a low holoprojector table, with somewhat mismatched furniture standing out from the wall and the arching, decorative windows along one side. It wasn't big, but it was open and comfortable, the possessions scattered through it visibly marking it as Roan's space. 

The Lands family home was also lived-in, but it had something of the same sense of communal property he remembered from the Jedi Temple. While most of the furnishings in the apartment were Rua's, Roan had been living here for several months and the marks of his presence were everywhere, even with the main room full of Rua's friends. 

The holoprojector was currently set to display an abstract visualisation of the music the system was playing. There was also an open bottle on the laminated projector surface; by the heady smell, it was the local molasses liquor. 

As they entered, Ferus recognised Rua, reclining on a backless divan, and Cauvery curled at one end of the sofa; but there were two others he didn't know. A Bothan male occupied the other half of the sofa, looking like he was regretting his thick fur coat in the prevailing heat, while another Togruta woman was sprawled in a deep-seated chair. Roan had apparently been relegated to the sofa mat rolled out on the far side of the room. 

Ferus was duly introduced to what were evidently a couple more coworkers, in similarly mellow states to Roan's. Rua offered to make him tea, and Cauvery offered to make Roan make him tea; but Ferus just shook his head. 

He let Roan arrange them on the sofa mat, which ended up with them stretched out on it lengthwise, Roan leaning back into Ferus' chest. He pulled Ferus' arms around him in a proprietary manner and sighed contentedly. Ferus quashed a momentary surge of panicked exposure, but no one else batted an eye. Well, Cauvery gave them a wistful sort of look, presumably missing her wife, here so briefly and then gone again. 

The stain Pramud had so painstakingly applied to his palm had started to fade a little, but the design was still distinguishable as a stylised bird nestled amid intricate leaves, or maybe its own elaborate plumage. Roan turned his hand over, absently tracing the swirling, organic lines. 

Ferus forgot how to breathe for several heartbeats. The touch sent an electric sort of fizzle over his skin and all the way up his arm. Taking a deep, deliberate breath, he made an effort at suppressing an embarrassing and ill-timed physical reaction. 

Ferus mostly sat out the conversation. It meandered drunkenly from topic to topic, but somehow Ferus didn't think that was the reason he was finding it difficult to track. He was having trouble focussing on anything except Roan's hands. His mind was a welter of emotion and sensation, pleasure and arousal jumbled up with uncertainty and anxiety. Even so, Ferus would have died before asking him to stop. 

The warm, comforting bulk of Roan's body weighing him down helped to quiet his nerves. Ferus ducked his head to inhale the scent of Roan's hair. He was sitting with the man he loved in his arms. Ferus let that sink in. It took a while, but he wasn't going anywhere. 

 

"So," Roan said into the hinge of Ferus' jaw, "is that a no to dessert?" 

By way of reply, Ferus caught Roan's lower lip between his teeth and bit it gently. Wedged in between Roan and the back of the couch, most of his ambitions centred around Roan's mouth and the tantalising skin of his back Ferus' hands had snuck up under his shirt to explore. 

Roan made a low sound back in his throat and wriggled closer. His hip rubbed against Ferus' groin, which was when Ferus realised he was hard. Roan leaned in, increasing the pressure. A helpless sound escaped Ferus' mouth. 

The apartment door hissed open. 

_Sithspit._ Ferus sprang upright, dumping Roan off the sofa. They stared at each other, wide-eyed, chests heaving. Ferus' heartbeat thundered in his ears. 

"Roan?" Rua's footsteps came closer. "You boys up to something?" 

Roan's face took on a suffused quality. With an obvious effort, he dragged his gaze away from Ferus. "We were just about to have dessert," he said in a faintly strangled tone. 

Rua looked from Ferus' rumpled and wild-eyed state to Roan, still sitting on the floor. "I bet you were."

"Would you like some?" Roan asked her tartly. He made no move to get up. 

Rua's eye glinted with trenchant appreciation. "I can get my own dessert, thanks. But I'll take a couple of those blue laddu I see here." 

Reaching up, Roan snatched a cylindrical bolster pillow Ferus was half sitting on and pitched it at her head. Rua yelped and caught it on the rebound. 

"See if I save you any." She pitched the bolster back at Ferus, who caught it reflexively as he tried to regain his balance. 

The apartment's common areas were all open to one another, so Rua wasn't really out of either sight or earshot when she drifted away into the kitchen-cum-dining area. Roan restrained himself to a mutely inquiring look, the worry easy to read on his open face. 

Ferus reached out and squeezed his hand. "No stress," he murmured. _Easier said than done,_ he thought.

Roan's expression was dubious, as though he could detect Ferus' inward doubts. He used Ferus' hand to haul himself to his feet, then pulled Ferus up in turn. Ferus' skin was alive with his nearness. He felt a desire to kiss Roan again—to do more than kiss him, truth be told. 

Roan would let him, he knew. He was almost certain. Roan only mentioned sex by implication, every non-verbal cue he could possibly give screaming that he didn't want to spook Ferus, who was for the first time in his life being slow in figuring things out. 

Ferus hated not having the answers, but this was more than simple biology. He was operating completely outside all his training and experience. The situation was so far beyond messing around with flower arrangements it wasn't even funny. 

_It's too late to turn back now, though._ That was what Ferus had learned this past week. He'd been avoiding facing the full implications of his feelings for Roan before. Now he knew. 

He just didn't know what to do next. 

 

The following day, he dropped in on Roan with lunch. Yesterday's massing cloud banks were now lowering and spitting rain. 

"I _love_ you," Roan sighed passionately. 

Ferus felt his cheeks heat, even though Roan's eyes were fixed on the take-out bag in his hand. "I thought you might be hungry. I wouldn't recommend eating outside, though." 

"I'll take your word for it; we don't rate any windows here." Roan pulled a face. "Give me a sec and then we can watch it rain from the ones in the cafeteria."

Roan had a job in government infoservices. The department ran out of a sprawling old building at the nexus of Ussa's western lake districts, with a very nice courtyard, although no one was much interested in using it today. As a result, the cafeteria was more crowded than it had been the handful of times Ferus had seen it before. He and Roan swooped in to claim a small table by the windows just as another pair was vacating it. 

"Um, sorry about yesterday," Roan said. He wasn't looking at Ferus, attention instead on the disposable food containers he was tipping out of the bag. 

Ferus' eyebrows drew together in a frown. "About what, Rua?" 

Roan fidgeted uncomfortably. "I said I wasn't going to pressure you."

Reaching for a container of blue yoghurt sauce, Ferus froze. He felt the blood slowly creeping up his cheeks as he remembered the feeling of Roan's body against his and how he'd reacted. 

"We don't have to get into it," Roan hastened to add. 

Maddened by his own uncertainty, Ferus was abjectly grateful for Roan's consideration and patience. But the last thing he wanted was for that to turn into a barrier between them. "I know I've been—" Ferus exhaled his frustration and tried again. " _Talking_ isn't where I run into problems. When you said you felt like you could share anything with me...that meant a lot. I don't want you to be so worried about _me_ there's no room for _you_."

"I just don't want to make you uncomfortable." 

Self-consciously, Ferus finished pulling the container towards himself and popped the seal. "In all fairness, I was the one who..." he cleared his throat. 

There was a long pause. "I—you're not the only one," Roan mumbled at last, face suffused. 

"Then that _is_ something you want?" The words escaped Ferus before he could call them back. 

Roan's hands uncurled from around each other and reached across the table to still his fidgeting. "In every way it's possible to want, I want you. But this isn't something you do unless _you_ want to, not ever, not for me or anybody else. It's no good if you don't."

He said it with a fervour that seemed particularly out of place in a public dining facility. Searching his face, Ferus found himself transfixed by the force of Roan's conviction. 

"I love you." It still came out a little hoarsely. 

Roan stroked his knuckles with his thumb. "I love you, too."

After another minute, Ferus admitted, "I'm afraid."

"I know," Roan said. "It's okay." 

 

It didn't happen that night, with Rua finally gone, or the next night, or even the next week. Ferus existed in what felt like a perpetual haze of sexual tension and mental confusion, until he wondered sometimes whether he shouldn't just get it over with on the chance that would in fact clear his head. But every time he was on the verge of giving in, with Roan's hands on him, dazed by body contact and kisses that evaporated his reason, something held him back. 

It wasn't Roan, whose simple presence was enough these days to swamp his mind in a fog of arousal; it was Ferus. He was uncomfortable with himself, with his own reactions and desires. 

It started like everything seemed to start, with food. It was a weekend, and Manx had said that since they wouldn't be opening the shop today, she'd take care of the daily routine in the greenhouse. 

Ferus had stopped and picked up a light breakfast on his way to Roan's, mindful of the family meal later in the day. Roan had given him the building access codes last week, so Ferus let himself in instead of calling through the buzzer. 

As he'd suspected, Roan wasn't moving yet. Leaving breakfast on the table, Ferus turned down the hallway in the quiet apartment and went to wake him up. 

Roan was lying in a patch of sunlight that came streaming through the open bedroom window. Sensing someone's presence, his eyes opened a crack until he could identify Ferus. Roan's muzzy smile of greeting stole his breath.

"Hi there."

Following an impulse he didn't stop to examine too closely, Ferus toed his sandals off and went over to the sleep couch. Roan rolled the rest of the way onto his back, regarding Ferus with sleepy curiosity as he slipped in next to him under the sheet. 

"Hi," Ferus replied softly. 

He slid an arm around Roan's waist and leaned in for a kiss. It felt completely natural, as Roan reached for him in turn, like something he'd done a hundred times before. 

Well, he had. _But not quite like this._

Roan's chest was bare; Ferus' hand encountered only a pair of sleep pants riding low on his hips as he trailed a caress down Roan's side. Half-awake and uninhibited, he pressed in close. The thin material did nothing at all to mask Roan's morning arousal, growing steadily more pronounced. Ferus felt an answering shock of desire shoot through him, but this time he didn't withdraw. 

"Is this a dream?" Roan asked. 

Ferus trailed his fingers lightly over Roan's stomach and down to his thigh, still not quite daring a more intimate touch. "No." 

Roan raised one large hand to cup his face as though checking he was real anyway. Unshaven, the abrasive roughness of his stubble scratched Ferus' lips with each kiss. 

He eased himself in closer until they were pressed flush against each other. Ferus felt his body stiffen along with his cock, and he had to stop and breathe through a wave of nerves that still wasn't enough to dampen his response. Just this much felt terrifyingly good. 

"Ferus?" 

Ferus licked his lips. "Is this all right?" 

Roan blinked at him slowly, shifting into the increased body contact. "The most right."

Ferus followed his movements with his hands, tracing the long muscles of his back. Encouraged, Roan rolled his hips in an unmistakeable thrust. 

It was his turn to freeze up, waking abruptly to the line they were crossing. He started to pull back, but Ferus didn't let him. 

"Don't stop," he begged Roan breathlessly.

Chest to chest, Ferus felt the hitch in his breathing. "Are you sure?"

"I am." And at long last, he really was. 

"Are you sure you're sure—"

"Roan." Ferus felt something warm overtaking his anxiousness. "Please?" 

Roan let out an almost wounded sound, like he'd been the recipient of a stab wound and not a shy smile. There was nothing shy at all about the look in his eyes. _In every way it's possible to want, I want you._ Ferus met his gaze and felt it resonate within him. It was the most incredible, profound connexion he'd ever felt, even through the Force. Shared love, and shared desire. 

He gave himself over to it completely. A voice in the back of his mind whispered, _There is no passion; there is serenity._ Ferus was anything but serene now. Blood roared in his ears as his pulse raced faster with every shift of their bodies, every deepening kiss. 

Up to this point, Roan had demonstrated a patience to rival Master Yaddle's; now, he suddenly seemed as desperate as Ferus. Greedy hands stripped his tunic away even as they pulled him in close, skin to skin, like they had been at the lake. 

Ferus had had a dream like this, all hazy and intimate. His sleeping mind had fixated on where Roan might touch him, but here he could touch Roan, too. He could lean a little further into their familiar back-and-forth, growing bolder, letting his body move the way it wanted to. 

He held on to Roan as he rocked against him, for the closeness but also because he needed more friction, he needed to feel Roan's cock rubbing against his even through layers of clothing. Ferus didn't know how to describe the sensation, some intoxicating mixture of the physical and the emotional, more intense than it had ever felt to touch himself. 

A shocked sound escaped his lips; one of Roan's hands had snuck down between them. He cupped Ferus' erection, feeling out its shape, then pressed the heel of his hand to the trapped head, drawing out another cry and a jerk of Ferus' hips. 

Ferus lost track of everything, all thoughts driven from his mind. He thrust into Roan's loose grip, but it slipped away, changing to a maddening, irregular pressure he didn't understand until Roan was touching his bare flesh. 

Ferus' head snapped back, continuing the sudden arc of his spine. He panted for air. Open-mouthed, Roan kissed his neck, and Ferus swore he could feel each individual grain of stubble as it prickled against the sensitive skin under his jaw. 

Everything flooded in on him, the sheets beneath his back, the fabric of his trousers, the sounds of the city outside the window, the smell of sex, and most of all Roan. Roan's body, warm and just beginning to sweat with exertion, his breath exhaling over wet skin, the slight frizz of his hair tickling up Ferus' nerves, his big, smooth hand wrapping around Ferus' cock. 

It was more than he could contain. "Roan," he gasped, coming. 

Roan continued to cradle him in his arms, murmuring a string of nonsensical endearments. Ferus, when his eyes came back into focus, could only smile at him in hazy, happy amazement. Roan's answering look was a little stunned.

Fondly, Ferus stole a kiss. "What should I do?" Because Roan was still hard and needing; Ferus could hardly leave him like that. 

"First, let me..." 

Still gently cupping his spent cock, Roan nudged him over onto his back. Carefully, he eased his hand away before stripping them both of what remained of their clothes. He used his sleep pants to clean up the mess, and Ferus got his first look at Roan's naked body. 

Everything about him was amazing to Ferus. Roan had a particular way of moving, not quite graceful, but enviably easy as he pitched the wadded up bundle of clothing across the room, also showing a typical disregard for where any of it landed. He was taller than Ferus, broader across the shoulders, his light brown skin a little darker now after exposure to the summer sun. When Roan turned back, a few unruly curls fell into his eyes. 

Roan's cock stood out from a dense thatch of pubic hair. More than just erect, it strained upwards until the shallow natural arc almost brought its blunt head into contact with his stomach every time he inhaled. 

Almost without thinking, Ferus reached for him, one hand going to his hip and the other tracing the lightest of touches up the shaft. He watched in fascination as a shudder rippled through Roan's body. 

Ferus' next exploratory touch was firmer. Roan didn't lean in so much as collapse forward onto locked arms. The grey-green of his irises had narrowed to silvery rings around wide, dark pupils. 

The first kiss distracted Ferus a little. The next one distracted him a lot. Then Roan's mouth was on his neck, then his chest, then—

Seeking, his hands found Roan's face. His fingers slid over closed eyes and rough cheeks, feeling Roan's jaw flex. They sank into tangled hair as Roan lavished attention on parts of his anatomy Ferus had never given much thought to before. He had fantasised about Roan's hands; somehow, he hadn't imagined what his mouth would feel like. Roan's lips left a shivery trail on the skin of his chest and stomach. 

Only half aware of what he was doing, Ferus flexed the hand buried in Roan's curls and used the grip to draw him back up for a kiss. "Let me touch you," Ferus pled against his jaw, hands already sliding over the contours of his body. 

Roan's response was a heated, hungry sound that went straight to something primal in his brain and sent a shock through his entire nervous system. Both of them were desperate and a little fumbling; in any other state Ferus would have been embarrassed at how quickly he'd gotten aroused again, but at the moment there was no room in his mind for anything except Roan. 

Somehow they had switched positions; on top now, Ferus licked along Roan's collarbone and tasted sweat. He was already growing addicted to the way Roan responded to him. His mouth ventured downwards, teasing out another of those mesmerising low moans. 

Ferus lost track of everything in a sweaty, amazing tangle, pulling the top sheet with them as they took it by turns to tumble each other over. Roan's erection dragged against his stomach and hip and his own cock until Ferus had to get his hands on it again or lose his mind. 

More confident this time, Ferus wrapped his fingers around the shaft and started to stroke. But his gaze was fixed on Roan's face. 

Roan's hands were only a little bigger than his, but they felt enormous as they shifted over his hips, ass, and thighs, grasping for purchase so Roan could thrust up into Ferus' hand. Ferus had never been so aroused in his life. It wasn't just his cock: it was the skin of his inner thighs, his tightening balls, even the cleft of his ass where the hard grip of Roan's long fingers parted him just a little. With his free hand, Ferus ventured a light touch high on the inside of Roan's thigh, wondering if this was how it felt for him, too. 

Roan bucked into his fist, uttering a moan that might have be Ferus' name. One of those big hands closed around his—around both of their cocks, trapping them together. Suddenly, Ferus' breath was coming in shallow gasps; his fingertips dug into Roan's muscular thigh. 

"—here, Ferus, _Ferus_ ," Roan was repeating in a hoarse voice, and Ferus seized his offered hand with a sigh so relieved it was almost a sob, because somehow Roan always knew what he needed. 

Their movements found a rhythm, but Ferus wasn't going to last. He could feel it coming this time, the cusp of an infinite precipice. Roan's eyes were dark and out of focus, but they stayed fixed on him, voice a continuous seductive rumble almost tangible on his skin. 

Ferus didn't fight it. He let Roan pull him over the edge, still holding tightly to his hand. 

Roan followed like it really was a question of gravity. Ferus was sure the sight would be seared into his memory forever. 

Because Roan hadn't let _him_ go yet either, Ferus surrendered to his shaking limbs and settled on top of him, head pillowed on his broad chest. His emotions were a jumble—exhilaration, exhaustion, shock, _love_. He felt so loved; Ferus never wanted to lose that feeling. 

Roan changed position after a while but stopped short of trying to get up. Ferus closed his eyes again when he felt fingers combing through his hair, tracing along where he knew the golden streak ran. 

"Firrerreo blood," he told Roan.

The stroking paused, then resumed. "Really?"

"Just a little. Surprised?"

Roan's chest shifted in what Ferus interpreted as a shrug. "Well, I didn't really think you dyed it."

Ferus smiled, but he was too contented to even laugh. "Thank you for waiting for me."

The hand in his hair slipped down to tilt Ferus' head up, and Ferus blinked his eyes open, trying to read the expression on Roan's face. 

"Love," he said, and the word still gave Ferus a pleasant shiver, "I haven't been waiting. We've both been here the whole time. That's all I ever needed."


End file.
